April 8th, 2011

Part of my “homework” for the childbirth class we just started is to talk to people who have “had the birth experience” that I want. Of course, I have no idea. But I was hoping you would share your thoughts and birth stories with me!

I have friends who have had home births and hypnobirths and sexytime births, none of which is super appealing. Although I would like a doula (fingers crossed that the one we’re talking to right now has a space for us) I also want to be in a hospital near medical equipment because I think that’s where I will feel safest. Also because I am “elderly” (36) and because I enjoy modern medicine. (I am hoping it’s modern enough to involve pain medication [if I need it] without the use of needles. They’ve invented that, right? Where the medicine is just licked on by kittens?)

I am also told labor is very physical and hard work and all that stuff. I’m worried about physically handling labor and childbirth, particularly since I’m fat. And right now, I can barely even breathe because my uterus is crammed up against my lungs. So I’m not exactly feeling at my peak fitness at the moment, which does not boost my confidence any.

Oh, and I would like a room with a jacuzzi tub. (These do exist at the hospital, by the way! My husband thinks the idea of a tub is crazy, and likes to joke that he’ll get in and start ordering cocktails while I’m having the baby. This is not actually a real representation of what he will do. But I do love water and I will take any kind of tub they have got going on.)

Any or all of these ideas may change as our childbirth class progresses and we learn more about our options, but that’s what I’ve got so far. In the meantime, if you have a good birth experience story, please share in the comments! Help me with my homework.

Posted by mo pie

Filed under: Kids, Mommyblog, Personal, Question | 41 Comments »

April 6th, 2011

Do you guys remember the story of the fat bridesmaid who was going to be excluded from a wedding since she would “ruin the pictures”? Dear Prudence dealt with a similar question in Monday’s column.

Q. I Need Help: I submitted a question last week and so I am hoping to get lucky today. I am 52 and getting married in about six months (first), my best friend, whom I love dearly, is assuming I want her to be my matron of honor. I have not asked her because she weighs about 400 pounds. I hate myself for not wanting her to be in the wedding, because it would just break her heart. People stare at her and point as she is very short, so it looks worse (if we can say that). I feel awful, but I am just being honest. How can I handle this?

She’s my best friend! And I love her! Except not really! Here’s Prudence’s answer:

A: Since you’re just being honest, I’ll be honest, too. I find your sentiments repulsive. How sad that your best friend has a best friend who actually is one of those people who would mock and stigmatize her. It’s one thing if you conclude, “Hey, I’m 52, so I’m a little old for matrons of honor and all that frou-frou.” It’s another if you want to exclude her because she’d ruin your wedding photos. If you’re coming to me for a polite way to tell your friend she looks appalling, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Posted by mo pie

Filed under: Fatism, Tidbit | 28 Comments »

March 11th, 2011