She had been given free tickets to attend the filming of American Idol and was understandably excited. But 19-year-old Ashley Kauffman’s joy soon turned to upset on being told she was ‘too big’ to sit in the front row
There were two [female ushers] and one said: “Oh, I don’t want shorts in front,” about my friend,’…Then [the usher] looked at me and said: “Oh no, you’re too big, too heavy to be in front!” To make matters worse Miss Kauffman and the two other girls were then seated in the back of the theatre rather than directly behind their other friends…
She added that staff had seated two girls who were ‘super skinny and wearing little dresses’ in the front row where [she] and her friends would have been sitting.
Ashley says she is still going to support the contestants on the show, but is speaking out to “make sure it’s known how they treated me.” Good for you, Ashley, and I hope you get an apology–and front-row seats to the finale.
Via Rickey.org.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: American Idol, Fatism, TV | 25 Comments »
Jessica has a friend who’s getting married, and she needs help with her dress!
Hi there! I recently came across your blog and love it! Thank you so much for speaking up for the big girls!
My best friend is getting married in October and we are having a horrible time finding any actual stores that carry wedding dresses in sizes over 26. She doesn’t want to order one online and take the chance that it wont fit right (because you know, it’s bad enough you have no right to try it on in a store…when it doesn’t fit, you can’t return it). She wants to have the experience of trying a dress on in a store. She wants the fairy tale, I suppose, of walking in to a high end shop, being waited on and catered to. She wants a beautiful gown, not something my great aunt Mary wore to Easter dinner in 1983. As a women of size, people think that the size 37 on her tag means she’s willing to settle for anything.
After calling a few local stores and being told she’d “never find anything,” I vowed not to let this happen for her. However, after months of finding nothing, I am worried that these horrible people are right. We live in NE Ohio which is not the most progressive or fashionable part of the country. But we are willing to road trip to be able to give this awesome friend the experience she wants. Any ideas? Any and all help is much appreciated!
I hope you can find a place within driving distance; if it exists, I know the BFD readers will find it! However, I think that ordering dresses online and returning the ones that don’t fit may end up having to be the solution here. That’s also what I did for my non-traditional, non-weddingy wedding, and it worked out great! For a more traditional look, Igigi has lovely options, and they do let you return them. Readers also offered suggestions here a few years ago.
If that ends up being the case, who says your friend can’t have the fairy tale experience anyway? You can take charge of ordering and sending back dresses, so she doesn’t have to deal with any of it. Then turn your house into the dressing room–invite some friends over, set up mirrors everywhere, pour some champagne, serve some scones, fuss over her, take pictures of her in the dresses, vote on the best one. That sounds more fun to me than a bridal boutique, anyway!
Readers, any suggestions for boutiques and online retailers will be welcome, I’m sure. And Jessica, let us know what your friend ends up wearing!
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Ask BFD, Question | 37 Comments »
Part of my “homework” for the childbirth class we just started is to talk to people who have “had the birth experience” that I want. Of course, I have no idea. But I was hoping you would share your thoughts and birth stories with me!
I have friends who have had home births and hypnobirths and sexytime births, none of which is super appealing. Although I would like a doula (fingers crossed that the one we’re talking to right now has a space for us) I also want to be in a hospital near medical equipment because I think that’s where I will feel safest. Also because I am “elderly” (36) and because I enjoy modern medicine. (I am hoping it’s modern enough to involve pain medication [if I need it] without the use of needles. They’ve invented that, right? Where the medicine is just licked on by kittens?)
I am also told labor is very physical and hard work and all that stuff. I’m worried about physically handling labor and childbirth, particularly since I’m fat. And right now, I can barely even breathe because my uterus is crammed up against my lungs. So I’m not exactly feeling at my peak fitness at the moment, which does not boost my confidence any.
Oh, and I would like a room with a jacuzzi tub. (These do exist at the hospital, by the way! My husband thinks the idea of a tub is crazy, and likes to joke that he’ll get in and start ordering cocktails while I’m having the baby. This is not actually a real representation of what he will do. But I do love water and I will take any kind of tub they have got going on.)
Any or all of these ideas may change as our childbirth class progresses and we learn more about our options, but that’s what I’ve got so far. In the meantime, if you have a good birth experience story, please share in the comments! Help me with my homework.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Kids, Mommyblog, Personal, Question | 41 Comments »
Do you guys remember the story of the fat bridesmaid who was going to be excluded from a wedding since she would “ruin the pictures”? Dear Prudence dealt with a similar question in Monday’s column.
Q. I Need Help: I submitted a question last week and so I am hoping to get lucky today. I am 52 and getting married in about six months (first), my best friend, whom I love dearly, is assuming I want her to be my matron of honor. I have not asked her because she weighs about 400 pounds. I hate myself for not wanting her to be in the wedding, because it would just break her heart. People stare at her and point as she is very short, so it looks worse (if we can say that). I feel awful, but I am just being honest. How can I handle this?
She’s my best friend! And I love her! Except not really! Here’s Prudence’s answer:
A: Since you’re just being honest, I’ll be honest, too. I find your sentiments repulsive. How sad that your best friend has a best friend who actually is one of those people who would mock and stigmatize her. It’s one thing if you conclude, “Hey, I’m 52, so I’m a little old for matrons of honor and all that frou-frou.” It’s another if you want to exclude her because she’d ruin your wedding photos. If you’re coming to me for a polite way to tell your friend she looks appalling, you’ve come to the wrong place.
Posted by mo pie
Filed under: Fatism, Tidbit | 28 Comments »
I’ve really been wanting to post something non-pregnancy related, and go through the links in my inbox, but it’s still a little chaotic around here! I’m freelancing part time, teaching full time, and moving into our new house. So a lot is going on, and I thank you for your patience while I get things sorted out. In the meantime, I’m going to stuff a few topics into this post that I’ve wanted to talk about.
Gestational Diabetes
I had my one-hour glucose test a few weeks ago. (I am… wait, I can’t be 31 weeks today… can I? Well, it was at week 26.) In the days leading up to the test, I was convinced that I was likely to fail it. (A lot of people fail the one-hour test even if they don’t end up with gestational diabetes.) Why was I so convinced? I guess I assumed that since I’m fat, I would probably end up having gestational diabetes. I am also very thirsty all the time and drink water constantly, which is a normal pregnancy symptom, but again, I jumped to the diabetes conclusion. And finally, I’ve been eating way more sugar than usual since I’ve been pregnant. I crave carbs of all kinds: fruits, breads, chocolate, donuts, pop tarts.